what it is like to write a song

It starts with a tsunami. Some drive, some emotion, some event, something bigger than you, more overwhelming than you can take, happens .. at least in your own mind. But without that happening, there is no song. You can't say "I should write a song." there are no shoulds.

Starts soft and slow, in the same part where your conscience lives. That same still, small voice speaks up, but in rhyme. Or music. Or just a beautiful turn of phrase. And then you know it's begun. You can keep about your everyday life or go to some quiet place and let it take over.

I write in the car sometimes. I don't know how safe that really is. When I wrote the song below, I had music on that I will probably never listen to again. And I wrote my own lyrics, based on the events of twenty minutes prior. The whole world changed as the song took form. South became North and large buildings shifted to the other side of the street.

You wake up after the song is in form, at least in its first form. Then your conscious self takes over and you fix the details. The rhymes, the little tweaks to the melody, the variations.

But none of this would be possible without those semiconscious moments when you "switch off the mind and let the heart decide" ... without the ability to let go and let yourself truly immerse yourself in the present moment and the past catalyst moment both at the same time, let them wash over you and let the music come from a place you rarely access.

I wonder when I will let myself write again.

i had forgotten about this one

untitled as of yet.. but lyrics are finished. this song only needs one verse, and lots of music.

Under a night sky I walk alone
Searching for the only home I've ever known
The music's on the paper
The song waits for my voice
And as I sing I waver
I know that I have the choice
But the one thing that sets me free
Is the one thing entangling me

You want me to stay forever
Part of me wants to believe
So I sit here and sing in wonder
Till I leave....

the circle

We all return
To where we've been
But don't you know
A new day begins again
You'll return to the snows of your youth
I'll return to my longing for truth
But we find that the place is the same
From where we came, though it's today
And the circle begins again
A circle without an end
The circle begins again
On and on without end

Don't you know
That what we hide
Is what we hold
Closest to us inside
My old dream of moving away
Came true, but in a different way
Looking back, I can see that the pain
Brought me to where I am today

And the circle begins again...

We are the same but ever new
There is a thread that pulls us through
We are the same but ever new
What is this thread that pulls us through?

And the circle begins again...

mg road

Funny how days make memories fade
From colour to black and white then into grey
Miles, they do the same first one,
Five, ten a thousand and time and space have their way

I could call, you'd never answer
I could write, you'd never respond
So all I can do is close my eyes and think of you.. and I do
Then half a world away, you open your eyes
You'd say I was dreaming, I was, wasn't I?

I don't remember the start
I'm not afraid of the end
I just remember the road
And I remember the wind
I remember the music
And the song that you sang
And in the end this world doesn't have to change

We're gonna be the change

Was it a night like this
The full moon lighting my path as I make my way home
It was a night like this
When I looked up at the moon and I said here I am
Here I am, where will this moment take me?
Where will it take me?

I could start, I'd never finish
I could write, you'd never respond
And so all I can do is close my eyes and be here.. and I do
Then half a world away you open your eyes
You'd say I was dreaming but this is life
This is life

I don't remember the start
I'm not afraid of the end
I just remember the road
And I remember the wind
I remember the music
And the song that you sang
And in the end this world doesn't have to change

It's you and me who changed

I don't remember the start
I'm not afraid of the end
I just remember the road
And I remember the wind
I remember the music
And the song that you sang
And in the end this world doesn't have to change

What we are

I know what I am
How many times that excuse
Let me justify the vortex spinning me
Let me name it as my own creation
How many days you and I
Walked this parallel path
Unknowingly doing and saying the same things
On the same days
How many minutes of pain did you endure
To make the abstract tangible, followable
And how many minutes of years did you watch
The abstract fade, disappear; leaving only a souvenir
The minutes add up and their summation
Is an unbiased reflection of what you are
So, you know what you are
And the freedom it gives
To jump in the vortex, let go, drown
With all words left unsaid except
I know what I am
But these seconds of minutes
Are not lost to us even now
And perhaps from here
On our parallel paths
We can look past the material
To discover for the first time
The world of ideas and ideals
The things that allow us to transcend
What we are
And discover who we are

I've been waiting for today

This sidelong glance is now more than habit,
It is instinct. My anticipation of your smile,
Of a word from you, is such a constant state
That I cannot help but live in hope
Every moment, every hour joyful
Because I know you could be here
And you are here - as you live the moments
Of your life, perhaps near or far,
You are forever in my heart. This, indeed, is everything.
And as hours, weeks, months dissolve into moments,
Single points in time, they slow time itself
And bring me back in a very real way
To moments that, for me, are immortal.
They bring me to a riverbank, clothed in wind,
Hiding from all but you; bring me then to a day
Bright red with happiness - I understood everything
But blushed at my naiveté.
A surrender never accepted, a goodbye never spoken
And thousands of tears uncried
Today these words mean nothing more and nothing less
Than what they say, as goodbyes still remain silent
And strength is still found in the memories, moments
So I will never really know why this wind
Blows in this direction - but it does
And I tumble along with it, anchoring in time
But moving in space...and the effort of the reversal
Of the commonplace gives me courage
To last just one more day...

Halfway hoping to be found

Written in January, for a previous February and March, by me.

One song reminds me
Just one moment - one thought -
Brings me back to the center
I just never thought it would be like this

Once I sat in the crisp breeze
Hiding away yet
Halfway hoping to be found
And yet today, here I stand
With no fear - the thought of being found
Never thought because today
I have sought you out instead.

What brought you down to earth?
Humanity frailty humility
Or rather, what brought me to the stars
To meet you there?
Or were the heavens and earth always one and the same?

Anyway, it doesn't matter
In such times as these
When we look at the clock with expectation
Waiting for the future to bring its reward
It only matters when you live in the moment
And both of us have put the moment aside
To chase our uncertain futures

But when I hear your song
NOW returns to me in full splendor
Waiting to see you, hoping to hear you
Hoping to finally be found and living
In the sweet moments of simply loving
That gave me days of strength and hope
That still, now, don't stop