Monday, April 8, 2013

The next illusion


There is a house in my dreams
Deep, rich browns and faded reds
Blue porcelain tea cups and intricate carvings
A stately calmness infuses it all
From the curtains to the teacups
To the hangings on the wall

Somewhere, music is playing
Music from being fifteen,
Yet the way I remember fifteen
Is hardly how it happened at all.
I listen to the song --the relic--
As it fades into a similar, yet new song
Whose language I have yet to fully understand
But have taken on, accepted as mine.

A peace grows within me
Though nothing ever changes
Calm is forever the same
Its fragrance is intoxicating
Yet I am fully sober
Or am I aware at all?
Life is lived in the living
And stops in the moments
Of self-examination

And so in this life I live
This thread I follow
This web I weave
I wake up

To the house of my waking hours
Cream and mustard and faded greens
Sturdy coffee mugs and hand-sewn tapestries
Calmness in the fleeting moments where it is found
And in between that realized time
Dreams fade to mist
And the everyday struggle for peace
Continues until the next moment of introspection
The next moment of rest
The next illusion

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Shy freedom

The world flying by
Still is my mind
Still in my mind
A whole lifetime
Measured in kilometers
And only then in hours
Every minute treasured
But now that I am home, here, safe,
Home is precious,
Now is sacred.

Could you see who I was
Under the veil of night
I could see clearly --
The world is always shadows
And green flecked with gold
Didn't you know?
I fell in love tonight
But it's not what you think
I remembered what it was like to
Come back to the place you always were
To travel round the world and find
All is the same
Same people
Same senses
What came before me, what is, and what will be
Are all one moment
As I fly veiled in this
Shy freedom

Everyone tonight
Believes in what does not exist
It's a little thrilling
A little dishonest
But it's not our fault
We are only here for a second
And we fade out of reality
As soon as the dust settles.
Everyone tonight
Saw the truth but could not know
That the freedom
Success, Capability
So easily assumed away
Was always mine.
Can they see who I am
Can they know my story
In one second before the dust settles?

In the best of all worlds
I loved
For a few minutes
Everything
In the right measure
And you no less
But time above all

(This was written June 20, 2007 and eventually became the song MG Road.)