The next illusion

There is a house in my dreams
Deep, rich browns and faded reds
Blue porcelain tea cups and intricate carvings
A stately calmness infuses it all
From the curtains to the teacups
To the hangings on the wall

Somewhere, music is playing
Music from being fifteen,
Yet the way I remember fifteen
Is hardly how it happened at all.
I listen to the song --the relic--
As it fades into a similar, yet new song
Whose language I have yet to fully understand
But have taken on, accepted as mine.

A peace grows within me
Though nothing ever changes
Calm is forever the same
Its fragrance is intoxicating
Yet I am fully sober
Or am I aware at all?
Life is lived in the living
And stops in the moments
Of self-examination

And so in this life I live
This thread I follow
This web I weave
I wake up

To the house of my waking hours
Cream and mustard and faded greens
Sturdy coffee mugs and hand-sewn tapestries
Calmness in the fleeting moments where it is found
And in between that realized time
Dreams fade to mist
And the everyday struggle for peace
Continues until the next moment of introspection
The next moment of rest
The next illusion

Shy freedom

The world flying by
Still is my mind
Still in my mind
A whole lifetime
Measured in kilometers
And only then in hours
Every minute treasured
But now that I am home, here, safe,
Home is precious,
Now is sacred.

Could you see who I was
Under the veil of night
I could see clearly --
The world is always shadows
And green flecked with gold
Didn't you know?
I fell in love tonight
But it's not what you think
I remembered what it was like to
Come back to the place you always were
To travel round the world and find
All is the same
Same people
Same senses
What came before me, what is, and what will be
Are all one moment
As I fly veiled in this
Shy freedom

Everyone tonight
Believes in what does not exist
It's a little thrilling
A little dishonest
But it's not our fault
We are only here for a second
And we fade out of reality
As soon as the dust settles.
Everyone tonight
Saw the truth but could not know
That the freedom
Success, Capability
So easily assumed away
Was always mine.
Can they see who I am
Can they know my story
In one second before the dust settles?

In the best of all worlds
I loved
For a few minutes
Everything
In the right measure
And you no less
But time above all

(This was written June 20, 2007 and eventually became the song MG Road.)

Christy's house

If this world were made of patterns
If music and love were equal
They would be the branches
And I would live inside the tree
Hollowed out and shining
Every room is spacious
Polished floor and ceiling
Enveloped in mahogany
And yet so free

Light streams into the spaces
Laughter echoes from within
A life lived out in fullness
In melody and peace
Nothing artificial
Everything is sacred
Effortless is love here
A bliss that does not cease
Nor shall decrease

If music forms the branches
Then that is where I'll live
I'll settle in the leaves
And make a blanket for my rest
I'll sing of the new morning
And echo through the chambers
Then wrap my web around me
Content there in my nest
An honoured guest

I have set it all right

Silence falls at midnight
The curtain goes up
The current moves on
The air is still
Hanging in August urgency
The river calls them onstage
See, it says, I have set it all right
The scene is set perfectly
I have brought the full moon for madness
And the heat in the air for summer
Dew on the branch for winter
Nostalgia has been achieved
See? It is just as designed
The wind is still so words can be heard and remembered
Only the river flows but it's quiet and calm
It's the only thing changing; everything else is waiting
I have created the perfect scene
But the clock is moving, still moving, still moving
And you have not yet come
The river flows on as if this time before times wasn't happening
As if the perfect moment wasn't existing
Then midnight passes and dawn breaks on the horizon
No one came to the celebration of memory
No one has come

The scene occurs in the air
In a time out of time
A place out of place
With traffic and wind and food on their shirts
They will forget to brush their hair
And wear the same clothes as yesterday
The scenery struck long ago
All that's there is a blank space
Improvisation required
But between the spaces the scene will continue
They'll trip over the lines
They'll fumble awkwardly toward the final act
On the black stage in between worlds
And the audience--
The audience will rise to their feet
In thunderous applause

And the river remains lonely
Closes the curtain
And waits for another perfect time
And another perfect day

An indescribable color

Gleam of striking shining silver
Took a hold
In my world of gold
It came unwanted, now I'm haunted
Now that it's faded
I've searched unceasingly
For one glimpse of the brilliance
That has ceased to be
Just one moment for that light to hit my eyes
Just one glance
Descent from opulence
Hypervigilance
The mountaintops shine silver; I follow
The clear blue sky endless; there I go
Knowing endless is madness; it doesn't exist
And it all calms down to a greyish brown
How can I now remember
Once it's all over
The last rays of light have fallen on this autumn world
I am picked up, hurled over thousands of miles
Through the blue, over snow, to the hills and the fields
But only in my mind. My body remains still
Barely shuddering, embracing the last of the fading light
Though I know after night more will refresh my sight
Maybe of a different kind
So face toward the sky
I await through the darkness
The glimmer of morning.

Infinite possibility

Oh, it was a night like this
Before I asked you the first time
You read that January
Is supposed to be cold and dreary
Dark and silent
Silent night
But the nights are ablaze
Citylights bright
Cafelights dim
As talks sparkle in the glow

Infinite possibility is what i called this feeling
This weather, this city
And yet it was so finite
It ended when the lights faded

And then another year came
Another January
Another warmcool evening
And the streetlights blazed
As I walked to my car
To find infinite possibility in familiar places
And talks sparkled in the glow
And golden music filled the air
Until three am
Yet it was so finite
It ended when the phone rang

I had simply looked in the wrong direction for infinity
Instead of to the lights or the golden sound
I should have looked inside my heart
Where senses cannot touch
But i could not have known that
Without you

And now i know how to see infinity
I meet with you and look into your eyes
A mirror looking back at me
And in your eyes are my eyes in your eyes
And so it goes

Why search for infinite possibility
When you have the possibility of infinity?

(Written December 2007)

The edge of the universe

Come out with me
Here, to the edge of the universe
There will be dancing

Past arbitrary dates of birth which determine
Not only who is to be respected and who is to be friend,
But also, supposedly, our destiny.

Beyond religions which tell us
That when we dance, we should not do this thing or that
Lest we offend a distant and angry god.

Past male and female and evolutionary psychology
That tells us we are wired active or passive
To dance or to sit; or to face the consequences.

Beyond village and city
Beyond nation and nation, and beyond the leaders
Who tell us who to hate in order to be good.

Past ideas of status and prestige
Who has 'made it' and who never will
And the illusions that make us believe it as truth.

Come out here
To the edge of the universe
There will be dancing and embraces
And endless showers of gratitude
And love